Brooklyn is full of second marriages, stepchildren, and households blending children from prior relationships. New York’s default inheritance rules were not written with these families in mind, so doing nothing almost guarantees the wrong result. Here are the blended-family mistakes we see most across the borough, and how to avoid them.
Mistake 1: Assuming Stepchildren Inherit
Under New York intestacy rules (EPTL Article 4), a stepchild you never legally adopted inherits nothing, no matter how close you were. If you die without a will, your estate passes to your spouse and biological or adopted children by statutory formula. If your goal is to provide for a stepchild you helped raise in Bensonhurst or Crown Heights, you must say so in a will executed under EPTL section 3-2.1.
Mistake 2: The “I Leave Everything to My Spouse” Trap
The most damaging blended-family mistake is leaving everything outright to your current spouse and trusting them to pass it to your children later. Once your spouse owns it, they can rewrite their own will, remarry, or spend it, and your children from a prior marriage can be unintentionally disinherited. A trust under EPTL Article 7 that provides for your spouse during life and then directs the remainder to your children solves this without forcing anyone to rely on a promise.
Mistake 3: Ignoring the Spousal Right of Election
New York gives a surviving spouse a right of election, generally the greater of $50,000 or one-third of the net estate, even if your will leaves them less. Blended-family plans that try to cut out a spouse entirely often fail because of this rule. A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, or a properly structured trust, is the lawful way to balance a spouse’s rights against children’s expectations.
Mistake 4: Outdated Beneficiary Designations
Life insurance, 401(k)s, and IRAs pass by beneficiary form, overriding your will. A classic Brooklyn error is remarrying but leaving an ex-spouse on the pension. New York law revokes some designations on divorce, but not all, and not those on out-of-state or federal plans. Review every form after any marriage, divorce, or birth.
Mistake 5: Joint Accounts as a Shortcut
Putting your new spouse on a joint account for convenience can quietly transfer the whole balance to them at death by survivorship, bypassing the children you meant to share it. Coordinate account titling with your overall plan rather than treating it as an afterthought.
Don’t Overlook Incapacity Planning
Blended families fight over medical and financial decisions when no documents exist. A power of attorney under General Obligations Law section 5-1513 names who handles finances if you cannot, and a health care proxy under Public Health Law Article 29-C names who makes medical choices, sparing a spouse and adult children from a Surrogate’s Court or guardianship battle.
Consult a New York Attorney
Balancing a current spouse and children from a prior relationship is among the hardest estate planning challenges, and template documents rarely get it right. Work with a qualified New York estate planning attorney who understands blended families and the Kings County Surrogate’s Court to build a plan that protects everyone you love.
